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Hospice Yukon Society
409 Jarvis Street
Whitehorse, Yukon
Canada Y1A 2H4

Open Monday to Friday
11:30 to 3:00 pm

Phone: (867) 667-7429
Fax: (867) 633-4683

info@hospiceyukon.net

Are you grieving?

If you are grieving the death of someone close to you, it can be a life-transforming event that affects all aspects of yourself and your life. It can feel as if your world has been shattered. The grief process is the journey between how things were and how they will be.

Grief is a natural process

The grief you feel at the death of someone important to you is the consequence of living and loving, of your meaningful connections with others. Grief is a normal part of life and a natural response to loss.

Individual differences in grieving styles

Although grief has some definable outlines, how you grieve is a unique result of your personality, your past history of loss, and the relationship that you had with the person who died. Each person in your family will grieve in their own way and with their own timetable. To cope with their grief, some people will openly express the emotions that they experience while others will control their thoughts and emotions. Neither of these styles is right or wrong; each can be an effective way through grief.

Social connections and support

When you are grieving you may want and need support from others now more than ever. Due to awkwardness or their own feelings of grief, some people may not be able to provide the understanding and caring that you expect from them. Because all of the relationships in your life will be altered in some way after a major loss, it is normal to look at, change, or sometimes end certain relationships. You may find that the company of other bereaved people is particularly comforting.

Experiences you might have in grief

When you are actively grieving, you can feel very different from your usual self as your emotions, your mind, and your reactions seem unreliable. It is possible that you are feeling intense pain and emotions that you have never felt before. Responses such as fatigue, forgetfulness and irritability result from your attention and energy being directed toward your grief. Hopelessness, anger, sadness, guilt, fear, depression are all normal reactions to loss. You are not going crazy; this is a natural part of grief and should not be interpreted as inappropriate.

Fluctuations in the grief process

As you journey along the path of grief, you will find that your feelings and responses vary at different times and phases of the process. There will be unpredictable ups and downs that may be felt as waves of grief or as good days and bad days. It is important to understand and value the good days as breaks or rests in your particular journey.

Self-care and what helps

It is important to be gentle and patient with yourself as you grieve. For physical, emotional and mental well-being remember to eat well and get adequate sleep and exercise. There are things that you can do to help yourself at this challenging time: taking walks in nature, keeping a journal, practicing healthy grieving rituals, reading about the experiences of others, to name just a few. If you are concerned about yourself and your grief, seek professional counseling.

Time for grief

Despite what you may hear about 'getting over it' or 'the first year', there are no time lines for grief; it takes as long as it takes. Often your grief journey is longer than you or other people expect and you may feel pressure to be better than you are by now, whenever this is. It is certain that this loss will continue to be part of your life and that you will always have times when you think about, miss, and grieve for the person who died.

Grief as a spiritual journey of healing

The death of someone significant in your life brings change that puts you on a different life path. Nothing will ever be the same, yet you must somehow go on and find meaning in the new path before you. As the journey continues, you will experience healing and personal growth as a result of the suffering you have endured and the lessons that you have learned about what you truly value.